Teaching Torchwood
by The Illusive Eagle
Summary: Jack/Ianto, Hinted Tosh/Owen, undead Owen, Gwen/Rhys. What happens when the team have to look for an alien... in a school?


One

The Torchwood Three team had encountered some missions forcing them to work outside of Cardiff, but never as far as this. It had all started a few weeks ago, when the Rift Activity Locator had gone in to overdrive, emitting all sorts of beeps and light, and telling them that an alien with flying capability had just appeared through the Rift, and was making its way quickly eastwards towards England.

"Okay team," Jack said, once they had assembled themselves in the briefing room, "there's been an unidentified flying object that came through the Rift-"

"You are kidding, right? A UFO? I didn't think those things were real." Owen interjected. Gwen shushed him and Jack carried on.

"It came through the Rift a few minutes ago, and I somehow making its way eastwards. We need to find it, and stop it from causing any harm, okay?"

The team made a general noise of understanding and moved to get up, but Toshiko suddenly cried out, looking at her portable tracking device, "No! It's gone way out of Wales. It's near Birmingham."

"Jesus." Ianto muttered under his breath.

"I think we'd better all get moving. Meet at the SUV in ten minutes. Pack some stuff, we might be away for a while." Jack advised, leaving the room.

"I'd better get home and tell Rhys I'll be gone for a while." Gwen said, rushing out after Jack. The remaining three proceeded towards their homes in a slightly less hurried manner, and they all met at the SUV after ten minutes, as agreed. Gwen was last and she was not happy.

"I hate doing this. Telling Rhys I won't be home for a while, not being able to say when. Drives him mad, and I don't blame him." She seethed. The other four quietly loaded up the car and got in themselves. Jack was surprisingly happy about the whole affair.

"Okay kids, are we ready?" There was a general murmur of agreement. "Then let's get the road trip started!"

And so they began the journey in to the Midlands. After the first half hour, it began to get boring. The UFO stopped somewhere in the large town of Northampton, about an hour south of Birmingham, so there were no exciting updates on its progress from Tosh. Owen annoyed everyone with repetitive games of 'I Spy', which were either obvious or obscene, Ianto bored everyone reeling off the shoe-making history of Northampton when it was discovered that that was the UFO's location, Jack's enthusiasm soon became irritating and Gwen was telling Jack to drive into every service station, or anything similar that they passed. Eventually she and Tosh wore him down and they stopped for lunch.

It was then that a small problem arose. The UFO, whatever it was, could not be traced to a specific location within the town, meaning it would take days possibly to find it. Everyone was glad Jack told them to pack. Ianto managed to find a solution to the problem of how to blend in and find local knowledge.

"Northampton High School, one of the top performing schools in England, lost lots of staff at the end of last year to retirement, moving; normal things. I suggest we fill some of those posts, make friends with other staff. It'll help us have a base and find our way around town." He proposed.

"Alright... but one tiny problem, Ianto... none of us can actually teach!" Owen pointed out.

"We could try. They're looking for a biology teacher – you're a doctor, Owen, I'm sure you could do that. And an I.T teacher, Tosh, you'd be perfect."

"Let me have a look at that vacancies list, Ianto." Gwen asked. She looked through it and said, "I'll do P.E." Everyone looked at her and she exclaimed, "What? I used to be Captain of the hockey team when I was at school."

Jack took the list from Gwen, reading it himself and muttering, "So much I could do... hmmm... Drama!"

This received many odd looks and caused Tosh to inquire, "Come again?"

"They're looking for a Drama teacher, I used to be quite the actor in my time." Jack grinned.

"You, a Drama teacher? That'll be interesting." Owen murmured.

"He's quite good at role-playing actually." Ianto smiled.

"Sick man." Owen muttered as Jack began to guffaw.

The five made their way back to the SUV, and Ianto began making the necessary fake credentials while Tosh hacked into the school's severs to make appointments with the Headmistress on their arrival, so when they turned up with no previous warnings, the admin staff could check their computers and them subsequently blame the Headmistress's ignorance on a mistake.

When they were halfway there, Tosh suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! What about you, Ianto?"

"Me? Oh, I'm replacing one of the accounts staff who went on maternity leave. It'll be like normal, but replacing the aliens with teenage girls." Ianto smiled.

"You won't be able to tell the difference." Jack smirked.

The admin, meetings and paperwork over, the team headed to their separate blocks to begin blending and finding out about the area. Ianto, in his element, took to his desk in the Accounts Office, a small room consisting of two large desks housing two computers each and several filing cabinets in the corners of the room.

Jack took off to the other side of the school and to the Drama Studio, a large black room used only for acting and as a green room. Gwen followed and ended up nearby in the Sports block, a few changing rooms, gymnasium and a swimming pool. Owen's destination was in between the two in a Biology lab on the 1st floor and Toshiko was only a few doors away from him in the IT room.

After Ianto had been working for about ten minutes, something that would make him smile for the rest of the day occurred. A trio of girls, aged around fourteen, knocked on the door to the Accounts Office. He told them to come in, and the leader began asking him what she was meant to do with a consent form for some school trip or other, but when she shook her hair out of her eyes and looked at Ianto, she stopped abruptly and her friends began to giggle. Mumbling now, she finished her query and having deposited the letter where she was told, scampered out with the other two, all of them giggling. As he went back to his work he could hear an echo of "did you see him? Oh my god!" travel down the corridor.


End file.
